Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
