Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
