Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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