How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
This is my gift to your gina
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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