i barfeds in our rink
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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