like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
