Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize