Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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