ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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