at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
