Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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