Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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