glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
