i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
