Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
