No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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