I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
