My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
