So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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