What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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