Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
