please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Blood and glitter go together right?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
