remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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