yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
