shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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