In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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