I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm at about main and main street
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
