Bisexual people are plain selfish.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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