i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
