There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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