You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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