i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
