Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
