Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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