chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
