so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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