i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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