I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
sex in a hospital.. check
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
