And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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