I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We are all done wearing pants today
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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