my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
