Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
