your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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