That's intense
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
