So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dignity is for republicans.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
