Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Banned from zoo.
Again?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize