I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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