you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
