Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Houston, we have a blender
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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