We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
