why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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