She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize