i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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