So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
