Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize