Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
