And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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