I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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