i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
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No I am not eating basil off your cock
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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