She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
