The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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